Helping Your Child (and Yourself) Combat Back-to-School Anxiety

August 1, 2021

Combating back-to-school anxiety may feel overwhelming but there are some ways to help ease emotions and make the transition a bit easier.

Helping Your Child (and Yourself) Combat Back-to-School Anxiety

August 1, 2021

It is hard to believe that summer is coming to a close and another atypical school year is upon us due to the Covid-19 pandemic. You or your child may be feeling some back-to-school anxiety as you anticipate what things will be like this year. Masks, no masks, vaccines, no vaccines, quarantine rules, in-person learning, virtual learning, it is all a lot to take on.

Returning to school can cause anxious feelings even in a non-pandemic year with concerns over schoolwork, friendships, social interaction, teachers, getting to classes, etc. Combined with pandemic stressors you might be wondering how you can help your child and yourself combat back-to-school anxiety.

First of all, know that whatever you are feeling right now is ok. There is no “normal” way to feel as school begins. Your worries, your fears, even your relief is all valid.

Combating back-to-school anxiety may feel overwhelming but there are some ways to help ease emotions and make the transition a bit easier.

Here are some tips to help you and your child:

1.) Recognize your child may be struggling and validate their feelings.

Your child may be feeling lots of different emotions right now and they might not know how to verbalize what they are feeling. Look for signs in their behavior that may indicate they are struggling, things like crying, complaining of stomachaches, irritability, or clinginess. Validate those feelings by telling them you know it might be hard, they might be scared, and that is ok. Reassure them by telling them you will help them and together you will get through these challenging times.

2.) Try to stay positive around your child.

We all have moments of struggle but it is important to try to stay positive around your child, especially regarding areas they are concerned about. Your emotions, the words you say, can all impact how your child is feeling. If you are frequently verbalizing your fear over your child returning to in-person learning, then your child will likely be afraid as well. This is a great time to model positive coping skills for your child. If you tell them you are also afraid, show them how you are coping with it — focusing on the positive, taking deep breaths, practicing mindfulness, etc.

3.) Now is a great time to teach your child about mindfulness.

The underlying emotion of anxiety is uncertainty. Those feelings of your heart racing, breathing rapidly, unable to concentrate, not being able to sleep, can all be linked to the fact that we just don’t know what the future holds. We are afraid because we don’t know what the school year will be like. We don’t know if we will get sick or have to miss school or struggle with childcare. We only know what is happening right here and right now.

Mindfulness can be a great tool to combat anxiety. If your child, or yourself, are experiencing moments of anxiety teach them how to pay attention to where they are currently rather than letting their thoughts run away. Teach your child to identify when they are feeling scared or sad and then give them a coping solution— find a friend, talk to a teacher, breathe, walk to the bathroom, count to 10, feel the fabric of their shirt between their fingers, etc. These are skills that they can take with them throughout life.

4.) Practice routines ahead of time.

In 2020, normal routines fell apart as many kids didn’t have to catch the school bus or log in to computers until later in the day. Prepare your child for heading back to school by stating their routine a week or two before school starts. Have them start getting up early, go to bed earlier, getting ready for the day, getting their stuff together, and leaving the house so they aren’t caught off guard the first week of school. Being prepared will make one less thing to worry about.

5.) Consider sending a memento or note to school with your child.

Notes in your child’s lunchbox, a family photo, or a special keychain, can give your child something to comfort them if they get anxious at school. These items can help provide some calm and connection for you and your child during the day. If they get upset they can reach for the memento to calm them down.

6.) Acknowledge concerns and evaluate options.

This is a tricky time for parents. What is the right thing to do for your child? Should you make them wear a mask even if the school doesn’t require it? What about vaccines? Should you be sending your child at all? Can they participate in sports or is it too dangerous? Take some time to think through your concerns and your options. Talk it out with a significant other, a trusted friend, and your child. Develop a plan or solution that works for your family.

7.) Communicate with teachers.

If your child is having a particularly hard time, tell the teacher. If you develop a plan, let the teacher in on it. Reach out to social workers and nurses so that everyone is on the same page. Maybe even arrange a weekly check-in meeting so you can get more information about how your child is doing and ease your worries.

There is no doubt this year will again pose many challenges for families as they face back-to-school anxiety. Do your best to keep things positive and get help when you need it. If you or your child is struggling with how to cope, you may consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional or counselor for assistance. A counselor or therapist can help you develop a plan that fits your life.

Ready to begin counseling in Pennsylvania?

Counselors at CW Psychological Services are professionally trained and licensed. We have openings for online, or telehealth, therapy appointments. Email us at info@cwpsychologicalservices.com or call at (610) 308-7575. We are here for you.

Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Anxiety, Children, Parenting, School & Academics, Teens/Children Tagged With: anxiety, child, coronavirus, covid-19, mental health, parenting, sadness, scared, school

Tips for Re-Entering Society Post-Pandemic

July 1, 2021

It has been over a year since the world, and state of Pennsylvania, shut down because of the Covid-19 pandemic. As things begin to reopen, are you ready to get back out there? If you are feeling anxious, stressed, uncertain about re-entering society, you are not alone. This is an exciting, yet nerve-wracking time. We […]

Tips for Re-Entering Society Post-Pandemic

July 1, 2021

This past year our mental health has been rattled. We have been faced with constant questions, uncertainty, fear of the unknown, loss of loved ones, time, and experiences. It has been nothing short of difficult. We aren’t expected to just dive right back into “normalcy.” It will take some time to adjust.

Here are some tips to help you as you make plans to re-enter society post-pandemic:

1.) Remember what you can control.

When things are out of control we often feel anxious and stressed, and right now there is a lot that is out of our control. But, not everything. There are some things you can control. Focus on those. For example, you can control when/if you get a vaccine, your personal distance to others, where you go to attend gatherings (outside vs inside), and whether you wear a mask. You can create your own personal boundaries. If you aren’t ready to do something yet, you don’t have to. You decide if you go or avoid the situation and you decide when to leave. It can help to make a list of all the positives to keep with you.

2.) Make a list of all the things you want to do.

There is so much that we missed out on last year — vacations, birthday parties, festivals, concerts, hugs from loved ones. Everything was canceled due to Covid-19. There was so much disappointment, but that isn’t the case this year. You can now do so many of the things around Pennsylvania, and the world, you wanted to do last year but couldn’t. Make a list of all the things you want to do and allow yourself to get excited. Boosting your excitement will help to ease some of those anxious feelings.

3.) Let yourself feel feelings.

Instead of trying to fight off (or ignore) whatever it is you are feeling, allow yourself to feel. If you are grieving a loss, anxious about attending events, or going into public, let yourself feel and accept those feelings. It is ok to be unsure, anxious, depressed, scared, sad, excited, happy, etc. Whatever it is that you are going through, it is ok. There is no one-way of feeling and no right or wrong way. It is completely normal to be struggling. Counseling can be a great help for anyone who isn’t sure how to move forward in this post-pandemic world.

4.) Move at your pace.

We all have different comfort levels. Some people have been ready to re-enter the world for months, while others have continued to stay cautious. It doesn’t matter where you are on the spectrum of post-pandemic readiness. Move at a pace you are comfortable with. If you aren’t ready for a concert or festival, or to send your children back to school, then don’t. If you aren’t ready for gatherings or returning to the office, be open with others. You decide what you are or are not willing to do.

5.) Stay up-to-date but don’t overdo it.

It is important that you know the latest information on what is safe and healthy and what is not. But, that doesn’t mean it is healthy to have the news on 24/7 or be glued to your devices. Disconnect. Recognize when you are feeling overwhelmed and turn it off. Get your information from reliable sources and leave the rest.

6.) Get help.

Living through a global pandemic is traumatic. We all went through big changes, transitions, tremendous loss, and personal tests. It is perfectly normal to be struggling. If you are having trouble moving forward or re-entering the post-pandemic world, consider seeing a counseling professional. A licensed therapist can help provide healthy coping tools so you can care for your mental health.

Ready to begin counseling in Pennsylvania?

Filed Under: Anxiety, General Tagged With: anxiety, coronavirus, covid-19, covid19, mental health, normal, post-pandemic, re-entering, social, social distance, society, trauma, traumatic

How to be an Ally to Your LGBTQ Friends

June 1, 2021

Pride Month is a time for the rest of us to show support and learn how to be an ally to the LGBTQ community.

How to be an Ally to Your LGBTQ Friends

June 1, 2021

June is Pride Month. It is the time of the year when the LGBTQ community comes together to celebrate who they are. But, Pride Month is about more than one group showcasing their culture, it is a time for the rest of us to show support and learn how to be an ally to the LGBTQ community.

Being part of the LGBTQ community comes with a multitude of challenges that are deeply emotional and personal. Although we have come a long way over the years as a society working towards acceptance, there is still a lot of work yet to be done. As friends of the LGBTQ community, we hold the ability to be true allies. The more we show support for our LGBTQ friends, the more progress is made.

We all need friends, human connection, and we all want to feel accepted. The more society as a whole works to open their hearts and minds to the LGBTQ community, the more accepted and loved they will feel.

How can we support our LGBTQ friends?

Become Informed

There is so much more to the LGBTQ community than simply being gay. There is a whole spectrum of sexual identity. Sexuality can be complicated and fluid. In order to be a good ally, it is important to gain an understanding of the range of sexual identities. There is a lot more to a person than a title or category.

Use Small Gestures to Show Support

Little actions can go a long way in showing the LGBTQ community you care. Putting a Pride sticker on your vehicle, attending a Pride parade or other event with an LGBTQ friend, hanging a rainbow flag, etc. are all ways to show you care.

Use Appropriate Pronouns

The words you use to identify a person matter. You may not think twice about calling someone who was born a man, a “man” but for that person that word is huge. Show your friends respect and ask them how they identify, then refer to them that way.

Don’t Share Someone Else’s Story

Coming out as LGBTQ is a hugely emotional and personal thing. If your LGBTQ friend trusts you enough to share their story with you, to be open and honest with you, then keep their story to yourself. It is theirs to tell, not yours.

Speak Up

It is so easy to turn a blind eye when discrimination and hate are happening right in front of you. It is scary. No one wants to get hurt. But we can’t be complacent in other people’s hatred. If prejudice is taking place, stand up. You can do this by verbally displaying disagreement, or by not supporting businesses with anti-gay policies.

Remember It’s Not About You

All too often members of the LGBTQ community and Pride events are treated as entertainment. People attend Pride events to gawk and snap pictures with the LGBTQ community, almost like they are animals at the zoo. Attend Pride events to show your support but remember it isn’t about you. You are an outsider to the culture. Be part of the event but don’t overtake it.

Be a Listening Ear

Members of the LGBTQ community often face a variety of struggles. Not only are they dealing with the interpersonal struggle of figuring out who they are and coming to peace with their true identity, but they are also faced with the backlash of others. It is tough. If a member of the LGBTQ community puts their trust in you and comes to you for support, listen, be there, have empathy. Create a safe space for your LGBTQ friend to share their experiences and feelings. The best thing you can do is listen without judgment, share a hug, and/or some kind words. Be a friend.

Be Aware When Someone is Struggling

Know the signs of depression and suicide risk. If an LGBTQ friend is withdrawing from others, suffering from mood swings, having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, no longer participating in activities they love, etc. help to guide them to a counseling professional. A licensed therapist can help to teach healthy coping skills and get them the help they need to feel their best.

Ready to begin counseling in Pennsylvania?

Filed Under: LGBTQ Tagged With: acceptance, ally, anxiety, bisexual, depression, friend, gay, lesbian, LGBTQ, pride, questioning, support, transgender

Why do some people inflict self-harm?

March 2, 2021

Some people turn to self-injury or harm in response to emotional distress. These non-suicidal injuries are a way for a person to mirror psychological pain with physical pain.

Why do some people inflict self-harm?

March 2, 2021

Some people turn to self-injury or harm in response to emotional distress. These non-suicidal injuries are a way for a person to mirror psychological pain with physical pain.

But, as the person on the outside, witnessing self-harm to a loved one can be confusing and scary. The tendency is to jump to the idea that this person was trying to commit suicide when that is not usually the intent.

Why would someone choose to hurt themselves? There are a few reasons.

1.) Feeling pain can provide a distraction from what they are thinking. It focuses their attention on their physical feelings rather than thoughts and strong emotions. It allows them to regain some control.

2.) This intentional physical harm can provide a temporary calming effect, allowing them to release some of the tension associated with their strong emotions.

3.) It can be a way of “feeling something” when the person is emotionally numb or dissociated.

4.) It can be a form of expression when the person doesn’t know another way to communicate or document their strong emotions.

5.) A form of punishment. If they feel they are undeserving or have done something wrong this can be how they punish themselves.

6.) Self-harm can provide a temporary but intense feeling of euphoria immediately after.

How common is intentional self-injury?

Self-harm is not something you just see in movies. It is actually relatively common, so common in fact that March has been named Self-Injury Awareness Month. It is estimated that as many as 17 percent of teenagers and 5 percent of adults will experience some form of self-injury, according to the American Psychological Association. Self-injury commonly includes skin cutting, headbanging or hitting, and/or flesh burning.

Self-injury is not a healthy coping mechanism. It is not a sustainable way of managing emotions and/or relieving stress. It can cause permanent damage to a person’s body and puts them at risk for infection and death, if gone too far. It is important that if you suspect someone is inflicting self-harm they be provided the proper mental help so they can heal.

What to look for?

Those who inflict self-harm often find ways to hide their injuries from others. They choose places on their bodies that are easily covered with clothing and hide any tools they may use to inflict harm. That is why it is important to know the signs.

Symptoms of consistent injury — if you notice your loved one frequently seems to have cuts, bruises, burns, or scabs on their arms, legs, or other parts of their bodies it is worth having a conversation

Overdressing for the weather — wearing baggy clothes or long sleeves or pants when it is hot outside can be a big indicator that your loved one is trying to hide something

Lots of excuses — if you ask your loved one about their frequent injuries and it seems like they are always coming up with an excuse it could be a sign they are hiding the real reason for the injury

Avoiding, isolating, or withdrawing from activities. Your loved one might not be participating in swimming, sports, or other events because they are harming themselves and don’t want others to see or because they are depressed and are struggling with their emotions. If you see them isolating it could be time to consider counseling. A counseling professional can help your loved one to develop healthy coping mechanisms rather than turning to self-harm.

Ending Stigma

All mental health struggles carry some stigma causing people to be anxious or avoidant in seeking the help they need. But, self-harm carries even more embarrassment for the person. Often they will feel like they have no one to talk to or will feel ashamed at what they have done to their body. They will struggle to come forward about their problem because of their embarrassment.

People who turn to self-harm can be labeled attention-seeking, which only exasperates the problem. If you suspect someone you care about is struggling with self-harm be gentle, open, and careful in how you approach the topic. Let them know you are a safe place and you want to get them help. They need to feel comfortable confiding in you.

Offer Support Not Judgment

If someone is inflicting harm on themselves what they really need is support. They need to feel safe and not alone in their struggles. Help them to seek out a mental health counselor who they are comfortable with. Offer love and a listening, comforting ear, rather than judgment. You probably don’t understand why they are hurting themselves and that is ok. Do your best to stay calm and open-minded to their circumstances. It can also be helpful for you to seek counseling services for yourself to help you cope during these worrisome times.

Ready to begin counseling in Pennsylvania?

Counselors at CW Psychological Services are professionally-trained and licensed. We have openings for online, or telehealth, therapy appointments. Email us at info@cwpsychologicalservices.com or call at (610) 308-7575. We are here for you.

Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem, Teens/Children Tagged With: adolescences, adolescents, anxiety, DBT, depression, emotion distress, emotion regulation, parenting, self-esteem, self-harm, self-injury, stress, teens, trauma

Why it is Ok to Mourn Loss of Experiences

November 30, 2020

Tips for you and your children on dealing with disappointment I think it’s fair to say that 2020 has been the year of disappointment and even with a vaccine on the horizon that disappointment feels never-ending. Everything from birthday parties, family events and concerts to school, sports, and well, normal life has been canceled. And, […]

Why it is Ok to Mourn Loss of Experiences

November 30, 2020

Tips for you and your children on dealing with disappointment

I think it’s fair to say that 2020 has been the year of disappointment and even with a vaccine on the horizon that disappointment feels never-ending. Everything from birthday parties, family events and concerts to school, sports, and well, normal life has been canceled. And, now as the holiday season is in full swing, you might be feeling an extra punch to the gut over the loss of experiences.

Whatever You are Feeling is OK

You are probably feeling a whole slew of different emotions — sadness, grief, anxiety, depression, guilt, fear, regret, hope, and gratitude, to name a few. Whatever you are feeling, it is ok. It is ok to be upset at everything that isn’t happening. It is ok to grieve and mourn the loss of experiences. Grief isn’t just something you feel when you lose someone you love, it can be a healthy part of healing from any traumatic experience—something 2020 has given us a fair share of. If you are struggling with accepting the emotions you are feeling, give in. Let yourself feel so you can heal and keep moving forward.

Besides allowing yourself to feel, what are some other ways for you and your family to deal with all this disappointment?

Remember, Anxiety is Contagious

When trying to help your children as they struggle through all their disappointment, it is important to remember that anxiety is contagious. If you are stressing over all the things your children will pick up on it. But, the same is said for feelings of calm. If you have a calm demeanor your children will feel that and will likely be able to process things easier.

This is why it is important to check-in with yourself frequently. Take the time to process your own emotions and find your calm before addressing your children—that way you can approach the situation as calmly and level-headed as possible.

Validate Emotions

Acknowledge that whatever feelings you or your children are feeling is normal and completely acceptable. When your child is sad that they can’t have a birthday party or playdate, name their emotions — “you are sad, and that is ok.” Explain they are not alone. Everyone is dealing with severe disappointment right now.

It is also important to remember that a child is at a different developmental stage than an adult. Using the bigger picture to explain why things are the way they are to your child is likely not going to be well received. Saying things like “we need to stay home so hospitals don’t get overcrowded” is not something a child will understand. Children’s worldview revolves around them, their friends and family.

Embrace the Learning Opportunity

In every difficult time, there is a silver lining. Your child is learning a lot of valuable skills for managing stress and disappointment. They are learning how to be flexible and more resilient than ever. Use this time to teach them healthy ways to face their emotions. Teach them about self-care, talking or writing things down, and how to calm down when upset.

Be Each Other’s Sounding Board

Being a listening ear for your children and other family members is the most important thing you can do for each other. Talk out your frustrations. Validate each other’s emotions. Then, focus on something fun you can do instead— make breakfast for dinner, play a board game, paint or do other crafts, movie night, build an epic pillow fort, or spend some time outside.

Use what resources you have to find ways to connect with those outside of your home. Set up virtual gatherings. Check-in with those you haven’t spoken to in a while.

Plan for the Future

Having something exciting to look forward to can be a huge help in getting through hard times. Right now making plans for the future may seem futile but things won’t be like this forever. Check out some fun vacation spots and start saving for a trip you may be able to make when things start to clear up. Make a list of experiences you want to do in the future. Focus all that grief energy on something productive and fulfilling.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is important all the time but even more so during times of high stress. The best thing you can do for yourself and others in your life is to take care of you. Spend some time doing things that bring your joy. Go for a walk, take a bath, read a book, cuddle up with a movie, chat with friends, plan an at-home date night with your partner. Also remember to take care of your health, get sleep, eat well, avoid overindulging in alcohol or unhealthy foods that are just going to make you feel crummy.

Seek help when you need it. Consider doing some online therapy with a counselor or therapist. They can help guide you through your disappointment and grief.

And, remember this is just a blip on the story of your life. You will get through these hard times.

Searching For Online Counseling In Pennsylvania?

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: anxiety, coronavirus, covid19, depression, grief, help, loss of experience, mourn, parenting, self-care

How to Manage Post-Election Stress

November 4, 2020

Post-Election Stress Disorder is a very real thing, especially these days. It doesn’t seem to matter which side of the fence you are on, tensions and anxiety are at an all-time high.

How to Manage Post-Election Stress

November 4, 2020

Post-Election Stress Disorder is a very real thing, especially these days. It doesn’t seem to matter which side of the fence you are on, tensions and anxiety are at an all-time high. Whether you are concerned about the future of the country, your children, the economy, health care, or having conversations with friends/family, there is a good chance you are struggling with some form of post-election stress. Add to that the uncertainty of a global pandemic, and it just might feel like your plate is overflowing.

You and your family’s mental health is important, so what can you do to combat post-election stress and breathe a little easier in the face of uncertainty?

1.) Check-In With Yourself and Get Help When You Need It

It is normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed at various points throughout your life but if the stress you feel is making it difficult to get out of bed in the morning or perform basic everyday activities, it could be time to get help. Take a moment to check-in with yourself and determine how your post-election stress is impacting the day-to-day. Are you avoiding conversations with friends or family? Are you skipping out on activities that used to bring you joy? Are you overcome with worry about the future? Are you struggling with sleep? Are you having trouble concentrating?

At CW Psychological Services we provide online therapy and counseling services to clients throughout the state of Pennsylvania. We are here to teach you healthy coping mechanisms and empower you to find calm.

2.) Limit Media Exposure

It can be easy to get sucked into the 24-hour news cycle and before you know it you are left feeling anxious, exhausted, and overwhelmed by all the negative information being sent your way. Instead, set a time limit for yourself to take in the news. Turn off your news alerts. Allow yourself to watch the nightly news or a few minutes of a morning show, or read the newspaper with your morning coffee. Then, call it a day.

Also, pay attention to how you feel when you are on social media. If social media networks are making you feel down, limit your time. Don’t act impulsively with comments and statements, that will just lead to more of a headache. And, definitely be mindful of media consumption leading up to bedtime.

3.) Turn Your Stress into Something Productive

Sometimes the best way to de-stress is to channel those feelings into something positive and productive. Maybe there is a project you have been meaning to work on, use that stress energy to get to work. Instead of wallowing in misery, channel those feelings into helping others. Yes, you might be concerned about the future of the country but that doesn’t mean you can’t help others right now. Maybe it is cleaning out closets to donate unused items to people in need. Maybe it is raising money for charity or volunteering for a meaningful cause. There is so much need in the world, any help is good help.

4.) Set Boundaries With Politics

It is easy for political conversations to go south and get heated, building wedges between yourself and those you care about. You don’t have to agree with your friends or family on politics, but that also means you should avoid topics surrounding politics. Set ground rules before family/friend gatherings and make everyone aware—conversations involving politics are off-limits. If you do decide to talk politics don’t make it about convincing someone to change their position, rather make it about trying to understand other points of view.

5.) Practice Self-Care

The number one thing you should be doing, now and always, is taking care of yourself. Practice healthy habits—eating right, getting sleep, unplugging from media, and exercising. Whatever self-care looks like for you, don’t forget to do it. Doing things that help you feel your best equip you to handle the uncertainties and unrest of the future.

Work on self-awareness. If you are feeling spent from an afternoon of election talk, cut yourself off. Binge-watch your favorite funny TV show, bake, listen to music, play video games, or get lost in a good book to take your mind off of everything else.

And, get help when you need it. It is ok to be struggling with all that is going on. It is ok to not be ok. You are not alone.

Searching For Online Counseling In Pennsylvania?

Filed Under: General Tagged With: anxiety, boundaries, depression, disorder, election, fear, insomnia, media, post-election, sadness, scared, self-care, stress, unplug

Coping With Pregnancy and Infant Loss

October 8, 2020

Pregnancy or infant loss is painful, devastating, and emotionally-jarring. How can you cope and move forward after loss?

Coping With Pregnancy and Infant Loss

October 8, 2020

Losing a child is devastating. It doesn’t matter if that child was growing inside of you or your partner, or was lost after birth. It is heartbreaking, emotionally-jarring, and traumatic.

Pregnancy and infant loss whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or other complications are more common than one might think. One in four women will experience this tragic and painful loss. Model and Actress Chrissy Teigen recently shared her experience with pregnancy loss.

When this happens you may feel as if you can’t go on. You may be fearful of the future. You may feel alone and lost. You might feel like you are at fault—wondering what happened to cause this tragedy. All of these feelings are ok and perfectly normal, which is why it is so important that you take care of yourself.

Understand it’s Not Your Fault

Pregnancy and infant loss can happen to anyone. There are not always clear answers for why things like this happen and, while that in itself is hard to accept, it is important that you give yourself grace.

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

You might feel anxious to move forward or you might feel like you just want to give up. Grief is a complicated thing. It is important that you give your mind and body time to heal. Spend some time caring for yourself. If you don’t want to see friends or family because it is too difficult to talk about your loss, then give yourself a pass for the time being. Stay home and watch some funny movies.

Your body has also just endured the unimaginable. It needs time to recover. Listen to your doctor. Rest. Let others care for you.

Don’t Expect Your Spouse/Partner to Grieve the Same

Everyone has their own way of grieving. While you might be an emotional rollercoaster, your partner might be burying themselves in work or hobbies. That doesn’t mean they aren’t also in pain. It just means they are coping in a different way. Talk to each other and give yourselves the space to grieve in your own ways.

Consider Unplugging from Social Media

Photos of your friends’ kids or pregnancy announcements are probably not making you feel too great right now. And, that’s ok. Consider deactivating your social media accounts for the time being while you heal emotionally. You don’t need to put yourself through more grief than you are already enduring. These announcements can feel like personal attacks and painful reminders of what was lost. Instead of letting those negative feelings build up inside of you, disconnect. You can return when you are in a better place.

Don’t Push Yourself

People don’t like to see others sad. When you are grieving others might expect you to bounce back quickly, but it isn’t always this easy. Grief takes time. While it is important that you not completely shut yourself in, you also don’t have to force yourself into uncomfortable situations.

Baby showers and baby-related events can be especially hard when you have experienced a loss. Instead of trying to put on a happy face and get through these events, consider skipping them this time.

Lean on Your Support System

A support system can look many different ways—it could be a therapist who is helping you work through your emotions, it could be a friend who has gone through something similar, or it could be a spouse/partner. Whoever it is, it is important you have someone. You need someone you can feel safe talking to, someone who can put you at ease when your emotions are reeling.

A counselor can help you to process all these difficult emotions and ease your anxiety moving forward.

Keep Moving Forward

As mentioned above, don’t push yourself. That being said, it is also important that you re-enter the world when you are ready. It might feel like a huge deal to leave the house. Take small steps. Don’t plan a busy day. Instead, plan a self-care outing. Get your nails done with a trusted friend or family member who knows what you are struggling with. Go see a movie with your spouse or partner. Take a walk or go for a hike. Attend an exercise class. All of these things can help you to reclaim a sense of calm.

Find Hope

Feeling hopeful might seem like the furthest thing from your mind right now. You are probably feeling hopeless. You might be thinking that it will be impossible to have a healthy baby in the future. But the truth is, you will heal. These feelings, while they will likely stay with you in some ways forever, will subside. You will find the strength to move forward in whatever capacity that may look like for you. Hope can be a powerful ingredient to true healing.

Seek Help

If you are struggling with sadness, hopelessness, depression, and/or anxiety surrounding your loss, there is help. Professionally licensed mental health professionals can help you process all of these feelings in a healthy way. Counselors can give you healthy coping tools and help you to find hope for the future.

Searching For Online Counseling In Pennsylvania?

Counselors at CW Psychological Services are professionally-trained and licensed to help those struggling with pregnancy or infant loss. We have openings for online, or telehealth, therapy appointments. Email us at info@cwpsychologicalservices.com or call us at (610) 308-7575. You don’t have to go through this on your own. We are here for you.

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Signs Your Child Is Struggling and How to Help

September 10, 2020

Certain emotions can be hard for anyone to process, but even more so for children. What are some signs your child is struggling?

Signs Your Child Is Struggling and How to Help

September 10, 2020

Certain emotions can be hard for anyone to process, but even more so for children. They might not know how to react when they feel a certain way, so, as a parent, it is important to be aware of other signs your child may be struggling.

The signs are not always obvious. Instead of telling you how they feel, they might act out in behavioral ways or complain of physical discomforts.

The best thing you can do is pay attention. Note any sudden shifts in mood, behavior, or physical symptoms. These can be indicators your child could use some help coping. And, listen to your gut. Parents tend to have a sense something isn’t right.

Coping With COVID

The past few months, living during a global pandemic COVID-19, have been particularly challenging with everything being canceled and closed down. Now, as we begin another school year and our children and teens take on education in a new way—whether in-person or remote— it is perfectly normal for them to be having a hard time.

They might be mad that they have to wear a mask or confused as to why they can’t be in school with their friends. They might feel anxious about getting sick.

Whatever it is that is ailing them, what are some signs to watch for?

Physical signs your child is stressed:

Headaches
Upset Stomach
Chest Pain
Heart palpitations or increased heart rate
Insomnia
Nightmares
Bedwetting
Decreases in appetite, comfort-eating, or binge eating
Pretending to be sick to avoid certain activities

Emotional signs your child is stressed:

Anxious
Mood swings
Restlessness
Clinginess
New or recurring fears
Increased crying, anger, stubbornness, or aggression
Decreased concentration or motivation
Emotional overreactions to minor events
Regressing toward comforting behaviors like thumb-sucking, nail-biting, or sleeping with a stuffed animal
Social isolation, withdrawal, or unwillingness to participate in activities they used to enjoy

There are lots of reasons your child might be struggling, COVID-related and beyond. They might be upset they didn’t make a sports team, frustrated or confused by things going on within the home, sad about something with friends, or feeling depressed and not knowing why.

As a parent you probably wish you could take their pain and frustration away, you want to fix things, but you might not know how.

How can you help?

1.) Recognize Anxiety is Contagious. Sometimes without even realizing we project our feelings onto those around us. If you are feeling anxious yourself, look inward, try to find your calm so you don’t pass on those anxious feelings to your children. Deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, and meditation can be helpful. You may also want to consider counseling services for yourself so you can better work through your own struggles.

2.) Validate Your Child’s Feelings. Does what they are going through stink? It sure does. Talk to your child. Tell them it’s ok to feel angry, sad, frustrated, disappointed, etc. Whatever they are struggling with is ok. They don’t need to hide it from you. Help them to feel comfortable opening up about their struggles. Explain that they are not alone. Give them space to grieve.

3.) Avoid Referencing the Bigger Picture. Saying things like “life isn’t fair” or “we have to do this to keep others safe” aren’t going to help your child. Developmentally their worldview revolves around them, their friends, and their family.

4.) Stay Calm. If your child is emotionally unraveling it can be hard as a parent to keep your cool. You want them to relax but saying “just relax” is not the most helpful response. Instead, try to maintain your calm, be a listening ear. Coach them, point out the positives, tell them to breathe.

5.) Be Flexible. If your child struggles with anxiety they might not want to do something that you think they should be doing. Try to have some flexibility but also maintain a normal routine. Extra planning for transitions can be helpful as well. Maybe they need a little extra time or a pep talk.

6.) Modify Expectations & Praise Them for Accomplishments. During stressful times we all can have trouble getting things done. Modify your expectations for your child during challenging times and praise them for little things. For example at the end of a stressful e-learning day, tell them you are proud of them for sticking with it even though you know it was hard.

7.) Get Help. If your child is struggling consider getting them help. Online therapy options are available to connect your child to a therapist virtually. Counseling services can help teach your child ways to cope and manage their stress and disappointment in a healthy way. It is also good for parents to get the help they need so they are better able to support their child during these difficult times.

And, don’t forget to practice self-care. You also need breaks and an occasional reset to feel your best. You need to take care of yourself to take care of your child in the best way possible.

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Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Anxiety, Children, Depression, Parenting, Teens/Children Tagged With: anxiety, behavioral, child, children, covid-19, depression, help, mental, parenting, physical, stress, stressed, struggling, support, tantrum